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So China has sent a human into orbit. Judged by the accepted international yardstick of resource wastage, they now rank alongside the USA and… the USA.

A quote from the article:

Gu Yidong, director and chief designer of the space application system in the space flight programme, told Xinhua that the ultimate goal for China’s programme is to explore outer space and make good use of the rich resources of space.

Yeah, I hear they’re going to bring back some vacuum and use it to clean their carpets. Rich resources of space? It’s SPACE. I can’t think of anything else that has fewer resources per volumetric unit. Apart from George W. Bush’s skull - Za-WANG!

[Note: I am told by reliable sources that while space is not particularly dense, it does contain a large amount of stuff, certainly more stuff than you could bring to earth without making things here pretty overcrowded. I stand by my comments, however, as the vast majority of that stuff is much too far away to be of any use]

When asked who would be the next to be fired into space, the Chinese administration said only “Dissidents”. Further questions, such as the possible landing date, were met with stony silence.

Exclusive! I have obtained an updated map of the Chinese flight plan.

Finally:

An astronaut does not need to wear the space suit when the spaceship is orbiting, he said, except when there are pressurization problems with the spacecraft.

Picture someone being sucked into the vacuum of space while pulling their pants on. Now you know why I’m laughing so hard.

Okay, so I’m a nerd. In general this is a good thing, but sometimes I catch myself thinking some fairly out-there thoughts. There’s a tenuous statistical link between qualities traditionally associated with nerds (good at math, poor social skills etc) and some forms of autism. Today I found myself trying to remember how a song went called Spring that I’d heard at Cookie the other day… only to eventually recall that it was a beer, not a song. Cascade Spring something. All I could remember is that I’d really enjoyed it.

Why is all the meat-furniture staring at me?

I was listening to a friend of mine DJ-ing on LaTrobe University’s SubFM, and while doing a back-announce, she uttered these words:

[surprised] Well, it seems like we’ve got a listening-type-thing happening, so hi to Shane and Dan.

Yeah, I hear those listening-type-things are likely occur when you broadcast yourself to a potential audience of several million people.

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who can forsee the upcoming three-way war between humans, robots and half-robot monkeys. Has the world gone mad?

First we create martial-arts robots, then we start giving monkeys robot arms. I mean, are these people sleep-researching? WAKE UP! YOU’LL DESTROY US ALL!

Monkey link courtesy of The Swordless One.

Come hither, Horatio! For I wish to disclose the feelings in my breast about those women who have large endowments below their waist!

I like big (Latin) butts!