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Last night I had mild distraction of watching Big Fish, an overhyped pile of self-involved schmaltz directed by a retarded poltergeist inhabiting the body of Tim Burton. Engaging performances by almost everyone couldn’t hide the fact that they were inhabiting a vaseline-lensed 50’s world, like Edward Scissorhands but with its tongue lolling uselessly away from its cheek. Big Fish expends so much creative energy being “Heartwarming” and “Imaginitive” that it forgets to be “Entertaining”.

Oh yeah, and I am sick and I have a toothache.

James Brown visits a different kind of funky town.

[ Expresses shock that James Brown is really just an average dude aside from his extraordinary ability to sing and dance ]

Ooh baby. Like a stench machine.

Completed Quake III Platinum Release Bonus Levels Expansion Pack Sims Integration Rounds, Expert Edition? Thought it was a push-over?

It’s time to play the ultimate first-person self-assembled-furniture-em-up.

Nothing’s quite as scary as real life.